Random observations from the back of a Greyhound bus as I made my way down I-5 from Portland to Eugene. My computer battery isn't all that great, so I wrote all this down in my notebook and transcribed it all afterwards. Some of this stuff sounds pretty ridiculous, but believe me, I couldn't make any of this up if I tried.
12:58 p.m. – Scraggly guy with a ponytail, dark sunglasses and a tattoo of a marijuana leaf on his forearm just boarded the bus. Picture the Unabomber as a hippy. Trust me, it’s as frightening as it sounds.
1:06 p.m. – Sitting here I feel kinda like Forrest Gump when he joined the Army, only I’m not on my way to bootcamp and eventually Vietnam. The prospects here are much more frightening.
1:08 p.m. – Oregon may have the coolest license plate of any state. Seriously. Maybe except for the Red Sox vanity plates back home, that is.
1:20 p.m. – Big sign off the highway: “Jiggles Dancers”. Something tells me it's not a ballet studio.
1:51 p.m. – Taking in the natural scenery as we make our way down I-5, I’m reminded of Oscar’s earlier revelation. It sure is green out there. And I’m colorblind.
2 p.m. – We just made a 5-minute rest stop in the small shit town of Salem. I think I’m the only one who didn’t get off the bus to light up a cigarette. And apparently forearm tattoos are a status symbol round these parts.
2:04 p.m. – An overweight kid with long hair, two lip rings and an Army knapsack just boarded the bus. Something tells me he didn’t just get back from Iraq. Or maybe he did, who am I to judge.
2:09 p.m. – Big yellow lettering on a building in downtown Salem: ADULT SHOP. A for clarity, F for originality.
2:23 p.m. – With each passing minute, I’m realizing more and more that this truly must be the grass capital of the world. And I’m not just talking about the kind that makes up your front lawn.
3:11 p.m. – Just woke up from a lil catnap and saw a sign that says we’re only seven miles from Eugene. Sweet. Also just saw my 5th Denny’s between Portland and here. Who knows how many I missed while I dozed off.
3:19 p.m. – Spectacles, testicles, wallet, watch. Made it to Eugene with everything still intact, I think.